IMPORTANT TIPS FOR PARENTS
- Stop questioning. Accept your child.
Parents often question,"Why my child? Why did this happen to me?". This only adds up to the frustration. The best answer found by many parents to satisfy themselves is - "God wanted the best parents for His special child and He chose us". Once you stop questioning, your frustration will reduce and you will be able to focus on more important things.
- Love your child unconditionally and show affection
We often love our child not only because it is our child, but because we have expectations from the child. We love when our child does something - this is conditional love. Parents must love their special child unconditionally. It is also equally important to express your love to the child. Children consider attention to be love - more the attention from parents, more is their love.
- Sense of Humour
Take your child's behaviour lightly instead of being frustrated. "Our child did something funny today" is always better than "I'm fed up with what he/she did today."
- Treat your child as normal
Don't tolerate tantrums or be liberal in doing tasks for the child on the pretext that he/she is special. As far as possible, train and let the child do his/her tasks by himself/herself - such as choosing dresses to wear, wearing shoes,etc.
- Never argue, quarrel or speak ill about the child in his/her presence
Don't think that the child does not understand that his/her parents are quarrelling or talking ill about him/her. Children are very observant and can grasp the underlying feelings of words. Your behaviour with your spouce will be imitated by the child.
- Check your spouce everytime he/she becomes angry with the child or pampers the child
Its natural for you to get angry with the child sometimes, which you later regret. Explain to the child why you got angry - the child will understand. Remember, fear of any parent will only harm the child, and same is true about pampering.
- Harmony among both the parents will create a healthy environment
Couples must spend sometime in the year with eachother by arranging the child to stay with grandparents. Parent's relationship with eachother influences their relationship with their child.
- About taking the child to public places or other people's houses
You and your child have full right to be in public places without feeling humiliated.
Studies have shown that in public places, when you tell others about the child's problem, people understand and empathise.
Visit only those friends and relatives who accept you with your child.
Taking the child out is also necessary to create an awareness in society about mental disabilities.
- Explain your child's problem to your relatives and close friends
Explain to them what autism, learning disability or mental retardation is and what specific symptoms your child has. Only if they are aware of the child's problem, they can accept the child and help you.
- There will be some days when your child may seem more problematic or uncontrollable, but don't panic
- Teach your child to use speech or non-verbal gestures to communicate his/her needs
- Take care that your other nomal children do not feel neglected because your special child needs more attention.
Spend quality time with them. Reassure the normal siblings that he or she will not develop his/her sibling's problem. Take their suggestions and involve them in their special sibling's care.
- Never compare your child with normal siblings/children and also with other special children.
- Form a parent's group or society for exchanging information, latest reseach work and referrals of qualified professionals as well as babysitting each other's children.
- Be observant about every progress your child makes.
Celebrate even the smallest growth or progress of your child. This will encourage you as well as the child.
- Plan ahead
Decide a guardian for your child; may be a family member, a professional, or a social worker who will take care of your child when you are no more. Make monetary savings for your child.
